I’ve asked myself when, instead of why. I’ve told myself will instead of how. When will I find him, not why was I looking. Will I tell him about my involvement with his mother, not how I was going to do it.
I wasn’t sure about anything at the this moment as Kylie drove toward the river bend. I wasn’t even sure if a relationship started on lies was not the way to go, because honestly? For me it was the safest. For me and Reagan it seemed like the only way for us to remain is to lie. I can’t really say I hate lies because let’s be honest, we all lie. You know those people who claim to have nothing to lie about, they are the biggest liars yet. And I’m not going to pretend to myself that I’m going to do something differently when the truth was, there was no way I was throwing my relationship under a bus for honesty. I was going to find my boyfriend and be the concerned dotting girlfriend I should’ve been when I found out his mother died, instead of running like the criminal I presumed I was to the one boy I shouldn’t have run to.
“We almost there, if you want to vent sugar now would be the perfect time.” Kylie’s smooth voice startles my wayward thoughts and it takes me a minute before I answer.
“I know fine crazy Dainy and you ain’t fine sugar.”
“Why did Sabastian have to come back. It’s like he brought it all back with him. For twelve months I was different Kylie.”
“Different isn’t always good Dainy, sometimes it’s the pretense behind the different that makes it all seem good.”
“I never thought about it that way.”
She chuckles just as she parks the car on the corner of the road, “because you young, and right now life just isn’t making sense. You got two guys Dainy, one loves you, the other one is starting to, so before you get out of this car you need to know who you getting out of this car for, because Reagan is hurting now and he is family, I don’t wanna see my cousin hurting anymore than he needs to right now. I ain’t saying you need to choose now, but I’m saying you need to put someone’s needs before your own.”